LJ Idol S5 Topic 9: Unprepared

Subtitle: If ibuprofen were chocolate-coated.

 

OW.

 

Seven months ago, at the age of thirty-one, mostly on a whim, I decided to get braces. Orthodontia. Metal mouth.  Brace face.

 

I’ve always had trouble with my teeth. They all came in crooked, but thankfully all the front ones mostly straightened out by the time I was fifteen. They were crowded. I never flossed. My family couldn’t afford regular dentist trips much less braces. At 21, with my first full-time job with benefits, I went off to the dentist. My first cleaning took two visits. I love my dentist. He’s warm and kind and no-pressure. He asked if I wanted to have my wisdom teeth out, I said “No thank you”. He said, “You’ll be asking in a few years.” Well, in a few years, I was asking. He asked if I wanted to be referred to an orthodontist. I said, “No thank you”. He said, “You’ll be asking a few years”. In a few years, I was asking.

 

Every couple of months since February, I’ve had your basic wire changes, repositionings, checkups. I never know what to expect, never worry about how it’s going to go. I go in unprepared and come out in various stages of pain. Today, I’ve started what my ortho calls “custom work”. Like I’m a ’57 Chevy.

 

The top wire snapped into place and with a snip-snip was done. It felt weird, but I could live with it. If the rest were like that, piece of cake. It was not to be. The bottom wire had many custom bends and was the size of bailing wire. On the first try, I held my breath. On the second try, reinforcements had to be called in. On the third try, the tech and I were both crying. A bracket broke. The doc had to be called back in, we started to try again. I asked for a cigarette break.  I don’t smoke.

 

One last try and it was finally in. It felt like my teeth were being ripped out by the roots with no anesthetic. Which, I guess, is what was happening. I was unprepared for it. I really don’t like crying in public and I’ll be eating potato soup for dinner, breakfast and lunch.

 

No matter how much it hurts, no matter what comes next, no matter how much I feel like a sixth-grade reject, I am okay with all of that.  And I was completely unprepared for that.