Manners

I was raised to treat all people with respect. Especially my elders. As children, we were to play nice and quiet and never ever tell each other to "Shut up". No, not ever. Never talk back. And always let someone who is speaking finish before speaking yourself. My grandfather taught me that if you are talking, you are not listening. And if you are thinking of what you are going to say next while the other party is speaking, you are not listening. And if you are not listening to the other party, you damn well aren't having a meaningful conversation.

Growing up, I never thought about being a girl versus being a boy. My grandparents never said things like "You can't do that because it's not ladylike or because you are a girl". I was told that I can do anything if I work hard enough and put my mind to it. I can remember being my grandfather's shadow and learning to do things because I enjoyed doing them. I've never had expectations about what girls do and what boys do. Being a grown independent woman, I'm so thankful for that. If it wasn't an issue when I was a child, why is it an issue now that I'm an adult? Aren't adults supposed to be... well, adults? I should have known that when I was the only girl in my freshman general business class in high school (only fourteen years ago) and all the other girls were in home economics, that it was only the beginning of my problems.

So, it was quite a shock to find myself in a room full of testosterone telling one another to shut up and talking over one another and generally acting like misbehaving children who needed a time out. And it's shocking to find myself having to prove myself three times over to be taken seriously. And I find myself thinking that if this is what it means to be an adult I'd much rather go back to being my grandfather's shadow.